5 Situations You Can Self-Medicate with Chocolate

Chocolate may be the food of the gods, but it can take a toll on one’s waistline, especially milk and white chocolate. In most cases, it is best consumed moderately (or if daily, dark chocolate) so it does not have to be worked off on the treadmill later.

NB3A8172aBut when life throws a few curveballs, it is perfectly okay to self-medicate with chocolate. Beyond the heavenly taste, it may improve your mood after the flavor is good, as a little sugar brings on relaxation and a clearer mind as do the rich dose of antioxidants in chocolate.

Here are the perfect times to self-medicate with chocolate…

1. The Break-Up

On the list of negative life experiences, break-ups rank somewhere between multiple root canals and death by woodchipper. The stages of denial, rage, neediness and depression are a rocky road to finally not caring about one’s ex. Chocolate has been proven to raise serotonin levels in the brain, which results in a calmer mood that can help a person push past all the crappy break-up feelings. It is also a great way to keep the hands distracted from sending a tearful text message that the ex will post on social media.

2. The Failed Exam

College is such a joyful time of mind-expansion and self-discovery, especially at parties. As the days pass from one hazy hangover to another, studying becomes far less important than discovering how much jello shot courage it takes to run naked through the quad. Nothing is more sobering than failing an exam that counts for two-thirds of the grade, except breaking the news to parents. Filling up on chocolate will provide the strength to carry on through trying academic times. It also cures hangovers.


3. The Bad Work Day

Sitting on the sofa with a throbbing migraine, fists of rage and black thoughts of rearranging the boss’s face after a trying day at the office definitely calls for reflection and massive amounts of chocolate. The soothing velvety texture goes well with a nice glass of wine and Chinese takeout. The next day is a fresh start, until arriving at the office. It might be a good idea to keep a stash there, too.

4. Cancelled Favorite TV Show

Few things in life bring as much pleasure as a favorite television show. The deep investment in the storyline and characters makes tuning in each week like stepping into a second life. When some cruel, faceless network executives decide to lower the cancellation boom, the loss can feel like a severed limb, complete with phantom pains when old episodes run in syndication. Chowing down on chocolate, combined with soothing self-talk, can ease the separation anxiety and bring the perspective that it was just a TV show after all. Ned Stark would agree.

5. All Days That End with Y

Living in the digital age is stressful, as it feels like life never shuts off. Each day brings its own challenges, which is why it is so important to partake of small pleasures whenever possible. Chocolate is cheaper than therapy, tastes better than Prozac and does not require a prescription. You can even feel better when you are having a splendid day. If a Hershey bar is the difference between being a gainfully employed, productive member of society and going down the rabbit hole, it is best to just eat chocolate.